Opinion: Rheta Johnson - Lovely Rheta a genius made - the naming of a name
Fishtrap Hallow, Ms
Somewhere online there was a list of the most common names of geniuses. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the most common names of geniuses were among the most common names: William, John, Mary, Joseph. Ann, Paul, Thomas, Peter, Elizabeth and George.
You get the idea.
The story suggested that you might name your own issue from the genius list to give an advantage to the child. No more Sunshine and Sage Moonblood. Farewell, Apple and Maddox. Good riddance to the cute-sounding Debbie and Cindy and Freddie. Forget the football player names like Ha Ha Clinton-Dix and Ben Gay.
Go with heft. Reach back to the dignified and simple, the basics and the Bible, King James version. Back to royalty, whence riches come.
I think my own name has held me back from Geniusdom all these years. It would explain a lot.
My mother meant well. She was impressed with the unusual spelling a Canadian neighbor living in Colquitt, Georgia, used for “Rita.” All my life, I’ve been pronouncing “Rheta” for folks, who often ask if I’m named for Rhett Butler. “No, it’s pronounced like ‘Rita,’” I say. Or, depending on my mood, sometimes I say “Yes.”
Wouldn’t it have been easier to simply spell it the common way?
Rita, or Rheta, sounds friendly enough, like a waitress or stylist, someone you’d tip. I’ve heard the joke about Lovely Rita the Meter Maid all of my life, of course. That’s OK, too. I think I might have made a competent meter maid.
If I’d been named Sarah, however, I think I would have written great novels instead of countless newspaper articles. It’s a hard name to corrupt. You can’t find a nickname in Sarah. It commands respect.
If I’d been assigned Prudence or Faith or Hope or one of the virtuous-sounding, classical monikers, I’d have been an ambassador or nurse. If I’d been named Chastity, I’d have been a nun. “Rheta” is sounding better and better.
I don’t have children, but I think naming one would be tough. It’s hard enough to name a dog. You first have to consider how it will sound when you stand outside and yell it a hundred times. I once named a female dog Humphrey and discovered how ridiculous some names can sound at a certain decibel level.
I used to say if I had a little girl I would name her Jennifer. Jennifer Johnson. Now, from the high hill of my old age, I can see that Jennifer was overused. Today I’d go with Jasmine. A boy: Johann Johnson.
I think people with alliterative names are more popular. Their names trip off the tongue.
The popular girls in high school and college had alliterative names: Cathy Caddell, Mary Maples, Marilyn Monroe. Marilyn wasn’t a classmate, but you get the point.
Works the same way with men. My own husband is Hines Holt Hall, a nice family name. His initials look good on towels, billfolds and belt buckles.
There’s a lot to consider when naming a child, assigning them the role of genius or fool. I suspect other factors may play into the equation, but that’s just a wild guess.
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Rheta Grimsley Johnson‘s most recent book is “Hank Hung the Moon … And Warmed Our Cold, Cold Hearts.” Comments are welcomed at rhetagrimsley@aol.com.
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