Survivor: Confronting suicide - 'must be honest about the pain'
By Michaela Gibson Morris
Daily Journal
TUPELO, MS
When Kevin Hines hit the water after jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, prayer and a single thought propelled him to fight through the pain as he swam to the surface.
“No one is going to know I knew I made a mistake,” Hines recalled thinking, if he didn’t survive the attempt to take his life at the age of 19 in September 2000.
Hines, now an author and mental health advocate, challenged a crowd of more than 100 people gathered at the Tupelo Civic Auditorium for the Life Matters program to fight through the fear and discomfort to directly confront worries about suicide.
“Look in their eyes and ask them, ‘Are you having thoughts of suicide?’” Hines said at the community event planned through a Tupelo High School senior project. “By asking that question, you are opening the door. You are giving them permission to talk about their epic emotional pain.”
Brain disease
At age 17, Hines developed bipolar disorder with psychotic features. On Monday night, he talked about riding the roller coaster between manic episodes and severe depression. He would have paranoid hallucinations that postal workers were trying to assassinate him.
On the morning of his suicide attempt, Hines deflected his dad’s efforts to keep him close, but as he sobbed on the bus to the bridge, Hines wished desperately for a stranger to intervene. No one asked him what was wrong. Out of more than 2,000 people who have jumped from the bridge, Hines was No. 26 out of 34 to survive the 75-story fall. He attributes his survival to three lucky interventions: A woman driving over the bridge saw him jump and called friends at the Coast Guard station. A sea lion helped him stay afloat. Finally, a novice Coast Guard officer, who was the first on the scene, broke protocol and jumped into the water after him.
His family was incredibly supportive in the aftermath, and his determination to never put them through the pain again has helped Hines fight to get better. Between 2000 and 2011, Hines went through seven psychiatric hospitalizations.
“It wasn’t easy getting better,” said Hines, who found love and married during his recovery. “It’s not easy finding hope.”
He turned the corner after taking responsibility for his own recovery. He sticks to routines, taking care of his body and his mind. He takes his medications. He asks for help when the suicidal thoughts come back.
“The only way to beat mental illness and brain disease is to be honest about the pain,” Hines said.
michaela.morris@journalinc.com